It began in college with what I thought were hemorrhoids, an ill-fated trip to the doctor, and an uncomfortably handsome medical student. Or maybe it began as a stoned teenager with a penchant for the munchies and embarrassing gas. Or maybe it began at nine years old, mindlessly eating Lays Sour Cream and Onion Chips in front of the TV only to realize in horror that I had finished the bag, then proceeded to hide it under the couch, and open another one.